Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
