You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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