He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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