they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
