you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
