Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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