Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
