I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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