I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
