Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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