I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize