I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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