I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
