i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
