he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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