So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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