Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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