the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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