I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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