Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
