dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
