I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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