you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize