Rock
Scissors
Fuck
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
