Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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