so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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