on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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