I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
