Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
