Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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