Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize