Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
