Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
