Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
