If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
