But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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