I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
