He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
