Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
