And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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