Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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