They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
