two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
