Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
