he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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