how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
