pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
