where does the pee come out of this thing
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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