The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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