Please, let me fuck your mom
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize