we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
