Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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