He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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