I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
