what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize